Sunday, March 13, 2011

Paint My Face

Image by Fee Easton
My poem entry for One Shoot Sunday, at One Stop Poetry

Unkempt, unwanted, un-me
Disheveled, perhaps is what “you” see
A train, fast-tracked - a life
with suits, that zoom on by
All this…, is behind me.

Three times, I tried
then three times more, and more
and more.

I brush my hair, and then my teeth
paint my face - you know, just in case
last but not least, a smoke or three
Hey! - Don’t judge me….
into a slip, a dress, my shoes…, - a mirror
No longer at my best…

Three times, I tried
then three times more, and more
and more….

Calloused feet with dirty toes
no shoes, no dress…, a slip, is all that’s left
oh, and me; a smudge in life, that’s all they see.

No longer do I care,
Shampoo…. yes,
with split ends and hassle free
Fuck you!
Who are you to judge me?

Three times, I tried, then….
…I can’t do it anymore.

Now I just paint my face,
you know - just in case.


  1. love the refrain, three times i tried...a relatable feeling...nice play on the prompt...

  2. Really liked the line "a smudge in life, that’s all they see" and the repeating refrain - "three times I tried". I could hear the girl talking in this. Great ending.

  3. I felt the mix of bitterness and dispair. Great write.

  4. Tortured, haunting Soul she is.....Her angst came through loud and clear!
    ♥ ஆ εlεɳa ~.^

  5. This is my ;) great take on the prompt and the repeating refrain works excellently

  6. Excellent match of number of failed attempts to cigarettes. A great deal of angst is expressed through your lines, which fits the message in your challenge response very well.

  7. Love the repetition, the unfinished thoughts that leave spaces for the reader to participate. The 'just in case' at the end, its cautious note of hope matches the challenge in the eyes in the photo.

  8. excellent description.the disjointed sentences and attempts to stop living the life she has come to know are wonderful.inviting write!

  9. Brilliantly evocative and well matched words help us all to see something extra in this powerful image.

  10. Three cheers from the nose bleed seats! Thought this was a brilliant take on the prompt. The angst and power that comes thru, despite the desire to paint one's face, just in case. I felt this the first time, even more the second, and I dare say I'm aiming for another take before I depart. Bravo!

  11. requited angst. a giving in almost totatlly...except the painted face..
    Like the rythem of it.

  12. Love this, especially the finish lines. Good work, my friend. =)