Submitted for One Stop Poetry - One Shoot Photography Sunday (Picture Prompt)! 17 April 2011
Photo by James Rainsford
My thoughts, deep
I sit astride
to contemplate these tidesof time
Focused on this state of blue
hand to chin -
unsure of what to do…
A piece of me - is missing
like a well, void of wishes
just hollow, in-between.
Such pitted moments afloat,
on this sea of land
with burning heart, which melts
through shifting rocks, of sand.
If I could only stand,
with two feet firmly planted
I’d ram this twisted state,
deep into my mental breach
point my cannon out to sea
and blast away these worries
watching, as they’re washed away.
But I’ll just sit astride, a bit
when all these worried thoughts, are gone
I’ll just simply stand...
and walk away.
"Such pitted moments afloat,
ReplyDeleteon this sea of land
with burning heart, which melts
through shifting rocks, of sand."
Not only uses aspects of the image very well, your poem describes a difficult mental state to put into words. Like a fleeting thunderstorm emerging from a "hollow, in-between" and then seeming to drift to sea. Great work, David
i esp. like the same stanza, adam pointed out - good capture of a moment of reflection and a spot of time in between weighing the situation/life before making up the mind to...whatever..
ReplyDeleteI didn't get the same feeling from this image and thus, I argued with you in my head as I read. I liked being led to plant myself and to follow your words instead of my thoughts!
ReplyDeletei like the canons, taking life by the horns...i enjoyed your unique take on the prompt...
ReplyDeleteIf I could only stand,
ReplyDeletewith two feet firmly planted
I’d ram this twisted state,
deep into my mental breach
Oh yes, anyone who would say they've never felt like this is surely lying. Loved this take, and the thoughtful contimplation you crafted into the poem.
Wonderful comparison of life to the sea. Good expression of human struggle and decisions in life...
ReplyDeleteA piece of me - is missing
ReplyDeletelike a well, void of whishes
just hollow, in-between.
Such pitted moments afloat,
on this sea of land
with burning heart, which melts
through shifting rocks, of sand.
Wow! I never expected this.
Intensely moving and a very intelligent poem.