Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Pale Edges



Play me
Worn keys on a piano
Fingers dancing on ivory skin
Bruised, beyond a note.

Water to the shore
Lapping at my pale edges
Fragile is my soul, which ebbs away

Resolute, the piper plays - a lament
But there’s nothing left to say
Nothing left to give, but blood
Red are my tears, this day.

Dripping past pale edges
I simply wish, to fade away.

17 comments:

  1. When you construct these tight expressive jewels of your moods, does it cause a shift in you? A completion of sorts? Is it like a sighing out breath? Or are you constantly dogged by feeling? Just curious. A well constructed poem.

    Tiger Windwalker

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  2. Love the second stanza....all of it filled with emotion...bkm

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  3. wow. lots of emo in this one...and great imagery..you played nice on the pic...

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  4. This poem is lovely. I especially like how you juxtaposed ivory skin with the musical notes--piano keys.

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  5. Some excellent variations of line and syntax throughout, David. Such sad sentiment, yet the emotional lines also have a very nice, musical quality.

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  6. I enjoyed all the color imagery. Ivory, bruised, pale, red, fade... it was like a meter giving me something to mark time.

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  7. Nothing left to give, nothing left to say...such a melancholy, drifting use of music. So often used for passion, or love, but every bit as vibrant in an emotionally sad context - sometimes we all just want to fade away. Sometimes we're just played out and we feel like we can't take it anymore. But the song plays on...Striking images, dark, but moving tone.

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  8. damn. just damn. power. love the metaphor carried out and you finish it off so well. great work.

    Monty / bum

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  9. Wonderful flow, imagery, all that.

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  10. Wow, truly incredible a work! Enjoyed seeing the imagery too! Seems so dismal yet you pulled off something beautiful somehow in it with the writing. Excellent placement of words... the effect that doesn't quite "fade away"

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  11. Ahhh !!! So poignant.. I could relate to it very much...

    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/02/whispers-night-along-sea.html
    Twitter @VerseEveryDay

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  12. Very vivid, sad, elicits a sigh. Good poem.

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  13. Hello, Thanks for the love to Poetry Potluck! You Rock!

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  14. What more is there left to say after all these comments... strong poem :)

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