Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Close my Eyes and Breathe

Through the door and up the stairs
I wander through the halls
afraid to knock
so I whisper to the souls
- who stare.

At the end, I see a room
an open threshold
just within my view
with a dim light
and a shadow
which I….
must step through.

Deep of breath
with warmly painted walls
latex coated taste
now dry of throat
heart beating
in a deepened haste.

Too afraid to move - I stand
and listen... as the silence grows                  
loud upon my heart
afraid - the bells will toll.

One large step
committed - on a hard chair
I now sit
with slated back too straight
within my eyes, I wait
and peek around to see
- it's only me.

So I close my eyes
and breathe.


  1. sometimes we find we were only afraid of ourselves....excellent

  2. Neva Flores: I agree, as we always tend to hold ourselves back. Thank you for your comment! Cheers, Dave

  3. I've had some DMs on Twitter, suggesting I correct the spelling of "slated" to "slatted". I appreciate the concern for my errors, which, no-doubt there are always plenty of. However, in this case, "slated" was meant in a metaphoric sense, as shale itself undergoes a metamorphosis, so does the person whom sat in the chair. :-)

  4. I really like the flow of this piece from start to finish. The closing statement is quite powerful.

    And this is more a comment on your blog header description, but I admire that you choose to write so spur of the moment without worrying too much about revision and rewrites. I tend to write most of my poetry in the same manner.

  5. Excellently written. I loved the flow of this piece. It speaks to the truth that sometimes who we are most afraid of is ourselves.

  6. Oh, how well you captured then expressed the senselessness of our own created fears.

  7. Could feel a panic surging through your lines. Riveting work. There's a cumulative respiring aspect to your poem in s-alliteration and emphasis on whispers and breath that add to the overall intensity and atmosphere.

  8. Yeah sometimes the fear we have is of our own doing and makes little sense in the long run, nice one.