Sunday, June 5, 2011

Until Another Dawn

Image by Rob Hanson
My poem entry for One Shoot Sunday 05 June 2011, at One Stop Poetry
A man sits
and churns away
spinning thoughts
sewn into his day
he thinks.....

Five-thousand years
from Pharaoh’d sands
plains to coast
sewn tapestries
tacked upon minds
pondered and chewed
are the souls of humanity -
now weathered and worn
beast and burdens
beneath mans cobbled feet.
Now pensioned, is his day
until another dawn.


  1. Sensitive exploration of 'retirement' and the wisdom lost

  2. Nice work David - I like the thought of being pensioned until tomorrow :) Steve

  3. Wasn't expecting that ending, which is great. Really like when poems break predictability. "sewn into his day" sets up the tapestries / humanity rhyme that continues an excellent flow covering much ground. Very nicely done, David.

  4. This is very good. I like the ending also. Very good images. I like the first stanza and the way the words weave into each other, specifically, the words weaving into the fabric.

    I also like the philosophical aspect of this piece.

  5. The slowly fading slice of life ,of a whipped up mans mind,filled with jumbled thoughts. beautifully costructed.Fave line"spinning thoughts sown into his day".really great David!!!Sonu @epitomize

  6. beneath mans cobbled feet...this makes me think of an attempt to escape what has become a mundane yet skilled habit of perfection.he yearns to leave but accepts this as a part of his existence.good write.