Sunday, June 5, 2011

Until Another Dawn


Image by Rob Hanson
My poem entry for One Shoot Sunday 05 June 2011, at One Stop Poetry
A man sits
and churns away
spinning thoughts
sewn into his day
he thinks.....

Five-thousand years
from Pharaoh’d sands
plains to coast
sewn tapestries
tacked upon minds
pondered and chewed
are the souls of humanity -
now weathered and worn
beast and burdens
dragged.........
beneath mans cobbled feet.
Now pensioned, is his day
until another dawn.

6 comments:

  1. Sensitive exploration of 'retirement' and the wisdom lost

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  2. Nice work David - I like the thought of being pensioned until tomorrow :) Steve

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  3. Wasn't expecting that ending, which is great. Really like when poems break predictability. "sewn into his day" sets up the tapestries / humanity rhyme that continues an excellent flow covering much ground. Very nicely done, David.

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  4. This is very good. I like the ending also. Very good images. I like the first stanza and the way the words weave into each other, specifically, the words weaving into the fabric.

    I also like the philosophical aspect of this piece.

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  5. The slowly fading slice of life ,of a whipped up mans mind,filled with jumbled thoughts. beautifully costructed.Fave line"spinning thoughts sown into his day".really great David!!!Sonu @epitomize

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  6. beneath mans cobbled feet...this makes me think of an attempt to escape what has become a mundane yet skilled habit of perfection.he yearns to leave but accepts this as a part of his existence.good write.

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