Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Close my Eyes and Breathe

Through the door and up the stairs
I wander through the halls
afraid to knock
so I whisper to the souls
- who stare.

At the end, I see a room
an open threshold
just within my view
with a dim light
and a shadow
which I….
must step through.

Deep of breath
with warmly painted walls
latex coated taste
now dry of throat
heart beating
in a deepened haste.

Too afraid to move - I stand
and listen... as the silence grows                  
loud upon my heart
afraid - the bells will toll.

One large step
committed - on a hard chair
I now sit
with slated back too straight
within my eyes, I wait
and peek around to see
- it's only me.

So I close my eyes
and breathe.

9 comments:

  1. sometimes we find we were only afraid of ourselves....excellent

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  2. Neva Flores: I agree, as we always tend to hold ourselves back. Thank you for your comment! Cheers, Dave

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  3. I've had some DMs on Twitter, suggesting I correct the spelling of "slated" to "slatted". I appreciate the concern for my errors, which, no-doubt there are always plenty of. However, in this case, "slated" was meant in a metaphoric sense, as shale itself undergoes a metamorphosis, so does the person whom sat in the chair. :-)

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  4. I really like the flow of this piece from start to finish. The closing statement is quite powerful.

    And this is more a comment on your blog header description, but I admire that you choose to write so spur of the moment without worrying too much about revision and rewrites. I tend to write most of my poetry in the same manner.

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  5. Excellently written. I loved the flow of this piece. It speaks to the truth that sometimes who we are most afraid of is ourselves.

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  6. Oh, how well you captured then expressed the senselessness of our own created fears.
    http://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2011/06/21/beyond-the-portal/

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  7. Could feel a panic surging through your lines. Riveting work. There's a cumulative respiring aspect to your poem in s-alliteration and emphasis on whispers and breath that add to the overall intensity and atmosphere.

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  8. Yeah sometimes the fear we have is of our own doing and makes little sense in the long run, nice one.

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